The not-so-distant past

Sigh before I cry
Do before I die
Bend before I break
Smile before I fake
Talk before I listen
Fade before I glisten
Scream before I fall
Lose before I call
Do before I think
Swim before I sink

Before the world; I’m on my knees
Past days are but distant memories.
Oh, it was horror. But it’s fine
This pain was not yours – it was mine
I thought I loved but now I am free
The storm has passed, I can finally see…

wilting in the excess of that which you need

Stay out of the sun, dear flower
You will get burned.
All your petals will crisp
All the edges upturned.

I am warning you now
Of what might take place
If you choose to show
Your pretty little face.

Free at Last

It’s so touching to receive a gift from your mother.

I feel as if for the longest time my goal in life has been to ultimately destroy myself. Seeing that someone could take the time and effort to put together a package for myself to enjoy is overwhelming. Somebody loves me enough to put together a bundle of things that they believe will make me happy – somebody drove to deliver the package to me. Somebody in this world loves me.

I feel so selfish; I feel so guilty for being so consumed in my own world for so long – there is so much to feel, to experience, to learn and all this time I have been trapped by myself.

LET ME GO.

LET ME GO.

LET ME GO.

I feel so confined in this one-dimensional world that I have created for myself that I have forgotten what it means to live life. I am so constrained in a world of grey that I have neglected to see the colours that surround me. I want to feel; to breathe; to live. I want to see; to learn; to be. I want to share a passion for living – I want to make each day count towards the happiness of everyone, MYSELF INCLUDED.

This is an overwhelming experience of FEELING - of EMOTION.
It is as if I learned what it is to FEEL again. I have become alive.

This is the rebirth of my Self –
I have awoken from the stupor that I have been in for the longest time.
I will now live, breathe and be exactly what it is that I want to be.
I will now create a life worth living.
Hello world.

a take on dearly beloved

Dearly beloved:

We are gathered here today to celebrate the realization of our own insignificance.

For too long we have walked down the path of arrogance and conceit;
for too long we have basked in our self-perceived glory and wisdom.

For too long we have put aside all our moral values in favour of glorifying the almighty Ego with material wealth.

Today is the day that we stand, hand in hand, united against the pressure society has placed upon us.

Today we rise from the ashes of a dead humanity, united by the common desire to correct all that we have done wrong.

We will not fail.

not listening

In the darkness of the night, flames of fire burn in fright.
Running quickly from the cause. Breathless, but no time to pause
Then in the absence of any light, somehow all is clear tonight
With no more trees to obstruct my view, everything that I see is true.
But the more I see the less I know, I find out more the deeper I go.
The wilderness that held my fear, is burning up inside me, dear
Echoes of past screams (pleaseletmego).. something I no longer know.
And to think that I did somewhat care - about you? It is a sad affair.
You judge me for what I cannot stop, and just like that, you let me drop.

But not this time.

This time the bells of fate do chime.
Not in your favour, but rather, in mine.
For now that I have become aware
Of all your lies, you will not dare
To repeat the mistakes that you once made
with me; but I do not intend to make you afraid.
I will only hiss words that you will never again hear
Yes, my past memories are all still very clear;
they will never fade. Tears fall as you ask me why....
I don't know. But I will tell you it is useless to cry.
From experience, I know that there is really no need
Bitter as the tears may be, at least you do not bleed.
Your heart is not mangled, torn up inside
which leaves me with no option but to hide
from the world. I have nothing to offer. I simply feel cold.
Inside still just a little child not listening to what I am told.

Whispers of hello

On hollow’s eve, the night is dark and stars shines dim.
I hold your hand and wait for fright to overtake me from within.
But fear does not come.

On a bright sunny day, the birds sing sweet and loud.
I shut my eyes and wait for warmth to hide behind a cloud.
But warmth does not stop.

On a sad rainy morning, the drops make wet from dry.
I wait for rain to fall on my face to mask tears I cry.
But tears are not shed.

When you are here, the pain isn’t what I fear.
You weaken the blow and confirm what I know.
Whispers of hello, but please don’t ever go…

It lies there

Down in the alley, where no one dares to walk
lies a small red box.
What the box contains, nobody knows,
But it lies there. Waiting.

Many have come, but they come and go.
No one has the time to see past
The outside of the small red box.
So it lies there. Waiting.

So appealing, so intriguing, so nice.
But that is all that anyone knows.
Because that is all the small red box shows…

Many have come, but they come and go.
Yet there are some who stay
To look a little closer at the small red box.
Still, it lies there. Waiting.

Down in the alley, where no one dares to walk
Lies a small red box.
And in it, my heart.
It lies there. Waiting.